I felt like writing a story about a Crow.

Petunia was a scruffy looking crow with jet black feathers that looked like motor oil. She had scaly bird legs (because she was a bird after all), but she still felt downcast when she saw her reflection in the puddles of murky water that collected on the rooftop. She wondered why she couldn't be like those parakeets in the pet store window, or like the pigeons with the shimmering green and purple feathers. She even hated the sound of her own voice. When she tried to sing pretty songs like the robins, she just sounded like a raspy old man.

She was very hungry, but the city had just put up signs everywhere stating that anyone who threw garbage on the ground would be fined 1000 dollars. Petunia hated the government of the snobby city she lived in, and all the greedy people who lived there. Keeping their garbage to themselves...Who did they think they were? This left her no choice but to hang around park benches and hope that someone would slip up and toss some crumbs on the ground. There was one bench occupied by two sedate looking old ladies dressed in shabby pink suits and outlandish hats. They were both eating sandwiches, and she flew over hopefully.

To her dismay, there were already three pigeons surrounding the bench, making their monotonous cooing noises. Petunia tried to chase them off, and they cooed louder, laughing at her and calling her "ugly". They trotted around stupidly in circles, yet not a crumb had fallen.

"Look at the cute little pigeons, Gladys! Give em' some crumbs!"

"Oh, you're right, they do look hungry. Look at them feathers! I just want to pluck them out and stick them in my hat!"

With that, the lady tossed some crumbs. Petunia saw her opportunity and moved in, while the pigeons panicked and flapped about.

"Shoo ugly crow!" yelled the woman called Gladys. She waved her purse at Petunia, who hopped away, allowing the pigeons to resume their meal.

Petunia would have her crumbs. She would find a way to outsmart them, for she was a crow! They were stupid pigeons with tiny pea brains. Petunia flew into a tree to devise her plan...

Later that day, some college kids were drinking out of bottles in paper bags, and petunia watched them as they started to act funny. After many bottles, they fell asleep, snoring and drooling. Petunia swooped down to investigate. She sniffed the bottles and smelled a strong scent, but she knew better than to taste it. There was an open but half full bottle sitting upright in a bag, and she found that she could carry it, with some difficulty. She clutched the paper bag in her feet and lifted it off the ground. She landed with the bottle in the birdbath. The bottle spilled over, and clear liquid flowed out of it. Now she just had to wait.

The pigeons were thirsty from being out in the sun at the old ladies' feet, and they flew up to the birdbath for some of the cool water. Petunia was there, but she ignored them, and pretended to drink. They dove in, drinking as much as they could as usual, so Petunia wouldn't get as much. It tasted funny, but it was still refreshing. After a few minutes, the pigeons began to hobble around and tip over, but they could see Petunia through their drooping eyes, and she was flying toward the old ladies! They gathered themselves together as best they could, and each jumped out of the birdbath. They made a few successful flaps toward the bench, but they all fell down, fast asleep. The ladies both gasped.

"Gladys look! They haven’t died have they?"

"I don't know, but they aren't moving one bit!" Gladys replied. They looked at each other, and took off their shabby old hats.

"What do you think Gladys? New feathered hats?" Gladys cackled delightfully, and gathered each of the pigeons into a purple purse.

Petunia was very pleased with herself, as she finished up the last of the abandoned sandwiches. She thought that maybe it wasn't so bad being a crow. The benefit of being ugly was that nobody would ever make you into a hat.